3 weeks gone and 4 lbs gained :-(

So, I've had kindof a long break. About three weeks of not counting points. I'd make an effort a couple days a week, but I completely gave up exercising and I know I've been going over my points, because I've gained back about 4 lbs. Yipee. I thought I had a good shot of making my goal of losing 10lbs by july 29, but seeing as I'm now 2lbs over frm where I was when I set that goal, I'll be lucky if I make it halfway. 

Sigh.

I don't know why I do this to myself- why do I give up just when it seems like I'm doing well? I get going on a roll, I do well, and then I think, I'm doing pretty well, I don't need to count today. I don't need to go running. And then it just spirals downward.

I'm just so disgusted with myself! Of course I'm starting back today, but . . . I'm just so tired of starting back, starting over again, and again, and again. Because every time I do it means that I've failed, again.

I want so badly, just for once in my life, to be skinny. To be fit. I'll be 30 in a little over two years, and I want to be skinny for at least some of my 20s. Sometimes I feel like it's hopeless.

I wish I had the will power to just do it. Just lose the weight. But time after time, I prove to myself that I can't. 

My WW buddy has been out of town lately, so I haven't really had team workouts or anything like that. I need somebody to keep me accountable, somebody to exchange food journals with or something.

I would reaaaaally appreciate any words of encouragement! TIA!

Good Day!

Yesterday I actually got a few things done and was a good little WWer. Got in my veggies (as usual) and made sure to get in a dairy. One of my new goals beyond staying OP is to get in at least one dairy serving per day. I've really been neglecting it, and I know it's important. Plus I remember seeing all those commercials about how it helps you lose weight from your waist :-)

Monday, June 06, 2011
Morning
1 large banana(s): 0
brunch leftovers - Quick-added food: 5
Subtotal 5

Midday
2 1/4 oz Organic roasted red peppers hummus: 2
1/3 cup(s) chicken curry: 3
2/3 cup(s) cooked white rice: 3
3 medium carrot(s): 0
1 cup(s) fat-free skim milk: 2
Subtotal 10

Evening
1 stalk(s) celery: 0
3/4 oz Organic roasted red peppers hummus: 1
1/3 cup(s) cooked white rice: 2
3 Tbsp fat-free cottage cheese: 0
2 Tbsp soft-type goat cheese: 1
1 Tbsp sunflower seeds: 1
2 cup(s) lettuce: 0
2 Tbsp dried cranberries: 1
1 Tbsp balsamic vinegar: 0
1 tsp olive oil: 1
1 Three Sisters Salad, 1c.: 4
1 Quick Stir-Fry: 3
Subtotal 14

Anytime
No entries for this meal time. 
Subtotal 0
Food PointsPlus values total used 29
Food PointsPlus values remaining 0
Activity
week 5- couch to 5k - Activity I created: 3
Activity PointsPlus values earned 3

Tonight is gonna be a challenge as I'm going out for a celebration. I've found it really helps me to have WW on my phone and to track things as I go. I think I'm gonna look for the article about how to survive Mexican restaurants.

Have a great day people!

Midnight Snacking again, sigh. But Symphony!

Well I was doing pretty good yesterday until it was late, I was up, and I was hungry. At least I ate healthy things, but still that was 9 points I would rather have had to spend Tuesday night when I'm going out to a party. Ah well, onwards and upwards.

Yesterday I went to the Pittsburgh Symphony concert at the Three Rivers Arts Festival. It was really great! It wasn't terribly hot and I really enjoyed the casual setting, being able to talk quietly during the music.

PointsPlus™ Tracker entries

Sunday, June 05, 2011
Morning
1 large banana(s): 0
leftovers from brunch yesterday - Quick-added food: 5
3 Morning Coffee: 1
Subtotal 6

Midday
3/4 oz almonds: 3
1 cup(s) cooked white rice: 5
1 Quick Stir-Fry: 3
1 Naturally Sweet Iced Tea: 0
Subtotal 11

Evening
2 1/2 cup(s) lemonade: 7
1/4 medium avocado: 2
4 medium carrot(s): 0
2 3/4 oz Organic roasted red peppers hummus: 3
1/2 Three Sisters Salad, 1c.: 2
Subtotal 14

Anytime
1 cup(s) fat-free skim milk: 2
1/8 cup(s) dried cranberries: 1
1 serving(s) Post Shredded Wheat Spoon Size Wheat 'n Bran 1 c.: 4
2 Tbsp unpacked brown sugar: 2
Subtotal 9

Food PointsPlus values total used 40
Food PointsPlus values remaining 0
Activity
couch to 5K week 4 - Activity I created: 3
Activity PointsPlus values earned 3

Today I started Week 5 of the Couch to 5K running plan! It's harsh, but today was doable. Tomorrow I run for 8 minutes at a time and I'm a little nervous. I'm usually OK but whenever I get to a hill it kills me. So we'll see how it goes tomorrow.

Lots to do today- two jobs to apply for and reading for a project. See ya!

Yummy!

So last night I went out with my friends and had an amazing, wonderful dinner at a place here in Pittsburgh called theSonoma Grille. It was the night of a Jazz Crawl and all the different galleries and cafes and such had live jazz happening in them. It was a beautiful night, and we spend the time we waited for our table walking around and checking everything out. 

Dinner was- like I said- amazing. I decided to split a tapas platter with my friend and then got a big salad. I had one piece of bread and a couple glasses of wine. I don't feel guilty at all bc: 1) I earned 6 activity points yesterday! and 2) I tracked every bite and didn't use up too terribly much of my weekly free points. I had such a good time! It was a night to remember.

Bonus: after dinner everyone complained about how they were so stuffed. And I just thought, I'm not stuffed. I feel great. w00t!

Friday, June 03, 2011
Morning
1 large banana(s): 0
Subtotal 0

Midday
1 medium nectarine(s): 0
3/4 cup(s) cooked white rice: 4
1 oz almonds: 5
1 Quick Stir-Fry: 3
Subtotal 12

Evening
10 1/2 oz white wine: 9
1 slice(s) Bread Rosemary Multigrain Sandwich Bread: 2
2 moussaka crostini - Quick-added food: 4
1 1/4 Tbsp olive oil: 4
scallop - Quick-added food: 2
something else - Quick-added food: 2
3 cup(s) lettuce: 0
Indonesian Chicken Satay, Thai Peanut Sauce: 2
Jamaican Jerked Wild Shrimp: 1
1 1/2 oz roquefort Cheese: 4
1 serving(s) Beverages Premium Decaf Coffee: 0
1 slice(s) crisp cooked bacon: 1
2 Tbsp half-and-half cream: 1
salad dressing? - Quick-added food: 4
Subtotal 36

Anytime
1 cup(s) edamame (in pods): 3
Subtotal 3

Food PointsPlus values total used 51
Food PointsPlus values remaining 0
Activity
walking - Activity I created: 2
gardening - Activity I created: 1
couch to 5K week 4 - Activity I created: 3
Activity PointsPlus values earned 6

Midnight Snacking

Yesterday I succumbed to midnight snacking. I could NOT get to sleep last night. I think it was a combination of the fact that it was so hot, and I felt so gross, and just general stress of the job search / what am I going to do / etc. The "anytime" stuff I ate between midnight and 2am. I know I could have just had some tea or something but that was not what I wanted at all. Maybe I was hungry from all of my activity.

Morning
1 serving(s) Tumaro's Multi Grain Low in Carbs Tortillas: 2
1 item(s) egg: 2
1 cup(s) black coffee: 0
1 sm slice avocado - Quick-added food: 0
1/4 cup(s) fat-free skim milk: 1
1/3 Burrito Filling: 1
Subtotal 6

Midday
1 cup(s) lettuce: 0
1/8 medium avocado: 1
1 medium nectarine(s): 0
1 Burrito Filling: 4
Subtotal 5

Evening
1/4 cup(s) barbecue sauce: 1
1 3/4 item(s) regular hot dog, beef or pork: 8
1 serving(s) Fruited Grain Salad: 7
Subtotal 16

Anytime
2 serving(s) Lemonade iced tea classic mix: 5
1/4 serving(s) 100% whole wheat hamburger buns: 1
1/3 serving(s) Trader Joe's Creamy Salted Peanut Butter (2 tbsp): 2
1 bar(s) Chewy granola bar honey almond flax: 4
Subtotal 12

Food PointsPlus values total used 39
Food PointsPlus values remaining 0
Activity
walking - Activity I created: 2
couch to 5K week 4 - Activity I created: 3
gardening - Activity I created: 4
Activity PointsPlus values earned 9

I'm starting to think that I need to save about 25 WPA for Monday-Friday for things like this.

What do you do when you can't sleep? How do you defeat the midnight munchies?